Top 10 Nostalgic Toys
I know what you’re thinking. “Another nostalgic top ten list? Andy, you just did one a few days ago! And you’re so handsome! What are you doing later?” Well my friends, it IS Nostalgia November here at GGR, and what’s more nostalgic than our favorite toys of our childhood? I dunno. I’ll probably think of something...
Anyway! Enjoy this list of MY favorite toys from MY childhood (and their commercials!)
10. Nickelodeon Gak
Remember that messy goop that came with Ninja Turtle and Ghostbuster toys that would get stuck in your carpet and was impossible to clean up? Nickelodeon Gak was the solution! A thicker slime toy that would instead pick up all the gross crap you couldn’t see in your carpet rather than get stuck in it! There were also additional devices you could use to put your Gak into and create new toys with such as a Gak Gun or Gak Bubble Machine. You didn’t need any of that though. The most fun you had with Gak was when applied the correct amount of pressure to the Gak while perfectly placed in it’s container, and you had quite possibly the most accurate sounding whoopee cushion ever!
9. The New Adventures of He-Man
“New Adventures of He-Man?” you ask. “Oh, you must mean Masters of the Universe!” Wrong sir! Wrong! MOTU was slightly before my time, but in the late 80s Mattel tried to bring He-Man back into the mainstream by attempting to put both He-Man and Skeletor into future. It was actually pretty cool. The toys and characters were well designed and more articulated than the original MOTU toy line (although the 2003 MOTU toys reign supreme in my opinion). The animated series they made wasn’t too bad either despite He-man’s goofy ponytail. The best reason to check out the show is how they transformed Skeletor into... well, Jack Nicholson.
8. Stretch Armstrong
Another toy that was remade for the 90s, Stretch Armstrong was the minimally dressed superhero who had the ability to stretch his limbs. Unlike the original toy from the 70s, however, there were other characters other than Stretch. There was Stretch’s weiner dog sidekick, Fetch Armstrong and his evil nemesis, Vac Man! Vac Man was able to stretch and keep his original shape once you used his special vacuum to suck the air out of him! Quite the opposite for Stretch seeing as how if you stretched him a dozen times or so, he’d explode and spill corn syrup everywhere.
7. Robocop: Ultra Police
My introduction to Officer Alex J. Murphy wasn’t from the films; It was from the commercials for the Robocop toys. I remember them showing clips from the movie of Robo getting shot at by a group of armed criminals only to have the bullets bounce off his chest, and the announcer saying, “ROBOCOP! NOTHING CAN STOP HIM!” Each of the toys had “cap firing action!”, which were next to impossible to correctly load (if you didn’t break your fingers trying to open the damn compartment first)! I remember renting the movie and totally NOT being prepared for it! I don’t think I was able to watch the movie from beginning to end until I was a teenager. Now that I think about it... Toys that required ammunition... Action figures for children that were based on R-rated movies... The 80s sure were a different time.
6. Mighty Max
Mighty Max was the male version of Polly Pocket! An entire playset you could fold up and store in your pocket. Max was a kid in a baseball cap who would go up against monsters, demons, aliens, and all sorts of villains. The best toy was the giant Skull Mountain that opened up and had all kinds of traps and gizmos to play with. There was a cartoon series based on the toys starring Rob Paulsen and Tim Curry that was actually pretty decent but unfortunately didn’t last very long. By the way, if you’re ever in the mood for a violent mood swing, be sure to check out the video game for Genesis!
5. 2-XL
ANOTHER toy remake from the 70s (anyone else sensing a pattern?), 2-XL was the talking robot that quizzes you in with the use of audio cassette tapes. Not only that, but it also had a choose-your-adventure style story tapes and could also play regular cassette tapes! Jam out to AC/DC with your toy robot! GET DOWN WIT YO BAD SELF!!!
4. Street Sharks
"I really hope nothing important is happening right in front of me... I can't see dammit!"
One of several Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles knockoffs from the 80s and 90s, these figures were actually pretty cool. I honestly can’t remember the character’s names but these shark-headed hybrids and their fish-themed supervillains were pretty... “jawsome”. Wait... I already said that pun once before, didn’t I? Well, now you know where it came from, and was I wrong? Of course not- Shut up!
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Sadly, they don't make box art like that anymore either...
Of course the Heroes in a Half Shell (did we ever figured out what a “half shell” was?) would make the list. However, you’re probably wondering why they aren’t at the number one spot. While the TMNT had some amazing toys (and commercials), let’s face it, the toys got pretty ridiculous in the later waves. Like we needed all those figures where the Turtles played sports, had a rap group, and store weapons in their shells. Remember the episode where the Turtles enrolled in Starfleet and became crew members of the Startship Enterprise? According to Playmates, that happened. I’ve looked all over the internet for that episode and I can’t find it!
2. The Real Ghostbusters
The oddest police lineup ever...
These toys have a slight edge over the TMNT due to the insane amount of creativity that came with designing these figures! Not only were there some creative variants of Peter, Egon, Ray, and Winston, but the ghost figures were disturbing (but creative) transforming characters. Is that an old lady? No, it’s a heinous horror hag! Is that a VW Bug? No, it’s a giant praying mantis! Is that a football player? No, it’s a... crocodile... butt... man... Who ya gonna call? Is there a proctologist that also highlights as an exorcist?
1. Star Wars: Power of the Force
"Aren't you a little small for a Stormtrooper?"
"I'll whup your ass any day, pal!"
Around the time these figures came out, my buddy Erik would not shut up about Star Wars, which I was familiar with but never bothered to watch. This was also when the films were being re-released on VHS (and it would be the last time we would see the original films untouched and unaltered), and he got me into collecting the figures. More detailed than the original figures from the 70s, these figures became a hot item for several years. I had pretty much the essential characters and their variants as well the Mac Daddy, the Millennium Falcon playset and small collection of (almost) screen accurate light sabers. I picked a good time to become a Star Wars fan! Thanks, Erik! The only downside was when my nephew started getting into Star Wars, I gave him all my figures. Not my brightest move.
Now it’s YOUR TURN! Let us know what toys from your childhood still have a special place in your heart (or on your shelf). Be sure to share this article on your favorite social media site!