"That's a Bold Strategy..."
by Mike Lunsford, Editor-in-Chief
This may shock you, faithful readers of GGR, but I don’t hold back my feelings on the goings on in our world. Now, I have spoken about this on our podcasts numerous times but there is a distinct difference between speaking the truth and saying purposefully rude or inflammatory things with the intent of riling people up. My intent is never to start a fight but I will not change my beliefs and feelings to avoid a confrontation when it comes to what I know and believe to be true.
“What prompts you writing about this, Mike?” I’m very glad you asked me that question, nameless-speaking-for-the-reader-representative. I am writing about the Civil War. I’ve made my feelings clear about how I feel about the War, its causes, and the usage of Confederate symbology in today’s world. You would think a war that ended 155 years ago wouldn’t still be a sore spot in this country, but here we are. 2020 has seen Confederate statues being removed and destroyed by protestors in record numbers, statues that by and large were put up as symbols of hate and a reminder for Black people that they weren’t considered equals.
There are also 10 United States Military installations that are named after Confederate Generals. I feel, and many fellow Americans feel the same way, that this honors a traitorous rebellion that killed hundreds of thousands of Americans. The naming of military base should be something reserved for heroes of the country, who espoused the values that we look for in our leaders and soldiers. Loyalty to and the defense of the United States is one of those values.
When you raise your right hand to swear in as a soldier, Marine, seaman or airman, you swear to “defend the Constitution against enemies both foreign and domestic.” An entire section of the country leaving to form their own country because the Northern states were going to limit the expansion of slavery and therefore attacked Fort Sumter is a textbook definition of a “domestic enemy.” It seems silly to argue that military installations with Confederate General names should keep those names. Honestly, they shouldn’t have been named after them in the first place! Our current president disagrees with this sentiment…but I’m not getting into that. He’s the one desperate to keep racists voting for him, not me.
As one often does, I extended my feelings about this issue on social media. Most people were in agreement with me. However, my father was not.
yes, we have the same name.
Now…before any of you decide to drag my father, I want you to understand this: he is a well-read man. He has studied the Civil War for years. He’s also a Virginia native and went to public schools in Virginia in a time when…well…things were presented in a way as to not make Virginia or the South look bad. The narrative of “states rights” has been a long standing reason for the Civil War from the side of southerners. In fact, we had family members who fought for the Confederacy. This could be enough to make anyone want to defend the legacy of their ancestors even knowing the cause they fought for was an evil institution such as slavery.
For the sake of full disclosure, I never expected him to see this post. He rarely uses Facebook, much less respond to anything. This “what caused the Civil War” conversation was something I had always wanted to have with him, but I never thought it would be via social media. I didn’t want to put him on the spot at a family function. It just seemed rude. And yes, I am a grown-ass man now, but I still don’t want to piss off my father.
We disagreed on the points. Instead of getting angry, getting defensive, name calling or anything like that, I used the best weapon in an argument with someone who disagrees with you: facts. I responded with this:
I know you have studied the Civil War a great deal, but it's pretty clear cut. They left the union. They created their own country. And states rights were a key reason for the Confederate states leaving, but the state right they were concerned about the most was slavery.
On Dec. 24, 1860, delegates at South Carolina’s secession convention adopted a “Declaration of the Immediate Causes Which Induce and Justify the Secession of South Carolina from the Federal Union.” It noted “an increasing hostility on the part of the non-slaveholding States to the institution of slavery” and protested that Northern states had failed to “fulfill their constitutional obligations” by interfering with the return of fugitive slaves to bondage. Slavery, not states’ rights, birthed the Civil War.
South Carolina was further upset that New York no longer allowed “slavery transit.” In the past, if Charleston gentry wanted to spend August in the Hamptons, they could bring their cook along. No longer — and South Carolina’s delegates were outraged. In addition, they objected that New England states let black men vote and tolerated abolitionist societies. According to South Carolina, states should not have the right to let their citizens assemble and speak freely when what they said threatened slavery.
Other seceding states echoed South Carolina. “Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery — the greatest material interest of the world,” proclaimed Mississippi in its own secession declaration, passed Jan. 9, 1861. “Its labor supplies the product which constitutes by far the largest and most important portions of the commerce of the earth. . . . A blow at slavery is a blow at commerce and civilization.”
Confederate soldiers killed US soldiers. That really should be enough to not honor the military leaders of a secessionist country. Even Robert E Lee himself thought honoring the Confederacy would make it difficult for the country to heal. So why dredge it back up?
“Lee believed countries that erased visible signs of civil war recovered from conflicts quicker,” Horn said. “He was worried that by keeping these symbols alive, it would keep the divisions alive.”
You're a smart guy, Dad but this doesn't seem like something that has any grey area (no pun intended for the blue vs grey).
I then cited my sources (which you can read here and here). No response from my Dad.
The next day, Father’s Day, we headed up to visit my Dad to celebrate with my family. Being the anxiety-riddled person I am, I expected a fight with him. I wanted this conversation for years, but was this the right time? As Zach De La Rocha says “what better time than now?” My Dad and I get along well, so there was no other animosity or anything of that sort…it was just the Civil War stuff. His love of the Confederate side always bugged me, more so in recent years as it became clear that it wasn’t about states rights.
My wife, son and I came in the house, said our hellos to my step-mom, step-sister and her kids and went to say hi to my Dad, who was on the couch, watching a movie. We told him Happy Father’s Day and he said to me “sit down, let’s talk.” Uh oh. I sat down on the couch that is on the opposite side of the room, across from him.
“Is this about the Facebook post?” I said.
”Yeah…it is,” he said as he sat forward on the couch. “I read what you had to say in response and I wanted to type out a response, but I don’t get Facebook. It wasn’t working.” haha. That’s fine, Dad. Adorable, but fine. “You were right,” he said.
My face, on the couch at that moment.
“You think so?” I said, a little surprised. Perhaps I’m too used to internet arguments, which rarely end in someone admitting they were wrong. Maybe the quarantine has me so used to not seeing people face to face, I immediately expected a snarky, ignorant internet response.
”Yeah,” he replied. “You used facts and you backed that up. I didn’t realize that all those states said that in their secession letters. I probably had blinders on because I know that loyalty to your state was much more important then and I assumed that what I read wasn’t biased. It appears I was wrong.”
We talked for a good while about it and how he didn’t think the Confederate statues should come down, but he definitely understood why they need to go. “I’ve always looked at them as history,” he said but acknowledged how it could be interpreted in a much different light. He then sheepishly looked around the living room and said “I should probably take some of this stuff down,” referring to his various framed pictures of Lee and Mosby. My father is far from a hateful man, in fact he’s one of the most caring people I know. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be half the man I am today. The discussion of how we felt about the Civil War was a topic I feared approaching with him. I love the guy. I don’t want to rile him up and I know where his heart lies. I always just assumed we would have to not talk about it.
I got bold, wrote a Facebook post, he ACTUALLY READ IT (which is a marvel in its own right as he is nearly 70 and doesn’t use ‘The Facebook’ often) and instead of being a thing we fought about, the old man agreed with me! AND he was willing to make changes in his life. I knew he would listen to reason, I knew he would understand how hurtful for some those Rebel symbols can be, and he’s willing to do something about. I was so proud of him. It was an excellent reminder on Father’s Day of how awesome my Dad is.
It wouldn’t be a GGR article if we didn’t have a nerdy reference. Thanks to James Rambo for the reminder of this quote.
“We have a saying, my people. Don’t kill if you can wound, don’t wound if you can subdue, don’t subdue if you can pacify, and don’t raise your hand at all until you’ve first extended it.”
I was prepared for a verbal altercation, but I instead showed proof that maybe his thought process was wrong. He listened and we were able to discuss it peacefully and he was able to have an open heart and mind about his beliefs. Results may vary, some people are stuck in their ways, either through refusal to accept new facts or they genuinely racists. Sometimes you have to find out though.
But maybe…it could be a reminder for all of us. If you’re presented with facts even though you strongly feel or believe one way, to take a progressive approach and be willing to make changes in your own life. It’s difficult, I know but with the way our world is, we all have to be willing to help others grow especially if they are as receptive as my dad was. Not every conversation can end as well as mine did, but the attempt to build a bridge is what is important.